To Peruse

Definition: "What, there's more than one of them?"

Said the Pot to the Kettle

Dick shoves open the apartment door, slams his bookbag into the carpet, and flops onto the couch.
"God, Barbie, like what is your problem!"
Barbie comes running from the bedroom. "Dickie baby, like, what?"
"Dude, you were like a total freak show last night. All the guys were talking about you."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah! And, like, what do you expect them to say; your bag is bigger than your frikkin' shorts. You're like a frikkin' embarrassment."
Barbie's lip quivers.
Dick slumps on the couch. "Even when you're sober."
Barbie's mascara begins to drip. "Dickie! That's not fair."
"Like yeah, it is. Dude, like, why'd you always have to act like such a tramp?"
"Oh my god. Like you don't even do the same thing. I mean we met at Travis's party."
"Yeah, and we're dating now, and you're not supposed to do that anymore."
"Like, oh my god. I can't believe you're saying that. That is, like, so unfair. You're such an *sshole."
"God, Barbie, you're so immature."
"Oh, shut up!"
"No, you shut up!"
"No, you shut up!"
"No, you shut up!"

Someone pounds on their front door. "Hey! Y'all just shut up! Damn!"

Overheard on the Path to Work

Barbie and Mandie were talking about a party they had attended the night before. Both were done up in Ho-Chic, with gobs of mascara clinging to their wilted eyelashes, goopy liner caked onto their eyelids, and roots of deepest brown crowed with a glory of "sun-in-the-bottle" brand hair color. And this is the conversation:

Barbie: Like, I was so wasted last night.
Mandie: My Go-o-d, I totally know what you mean. I think I was on the table some time. [Barbie laughs] And like, we all went to that one guy's apartment, and--
Barbie: [cuts Mandie off mid 'like'] And then I didn't even know who fucked me! [squeals in laughter]
[fade out as they reach the edge of earshot]

Let's recap, shall we? These two girls went to a party, purposely poured who knows how many gallons of booze down their gullets, went home with a strange guy, ended up doing crazy table-dancing, monkey sex with men they didn't know then, and who they don't know now. And this is laughable to them in a "wasn't that fun" kind of way.

Poor world. Overrun with Barbies and Mandies.

A friend once mentioned that, eugenically speaking, it was a wonder the human race had survived, given that it was propagated through bars and broken condoms. Such sentiment rings especially true in this case.

Howl

Truly the tumbleweeds are spinning cartwheels across our lives today, as the wind has not dipped below 22 mph since 8 this morning.

Sagebrush Soap Opera - Day One

In the beginning, the wind blew.

It blew several people into each other's lives, and it blew their tangled stories into this blog.

This is ... As the Tumbleweed Blows